for future reference
i have a lot to write about…
Perception
Due to a number of things, with diabetes at the top of the list, I’m now seeing a counselor. That’s something that I’ve avoided almost successfully during my 16 year (and still going) career with diabetes. My opinion of counselors is dimly lit. Quite frankly, I’ve always thought there was nothing they could do to help me. And, quite frankly, for the most part, I still agree. To me, they’re a waste of time and money. I have my opinions and anyone that knows me knows that changing my opinions doesn’t happen easily.
My opinion of my counselor after the first time I saw her was “I’m paying for a friend I don’t want. I’m paying to have someone listen to me and tell me what they think. That’s what friends do. I’m paying to hash out things I’ve been hashing out for years with my parents and FRIENDS.”
I told her that at my last appointment. Her response was “I’m not a friend” (well duh, i’m paying for you, I don’t pay for my friends, it’s an analogy, but I didn’t tell her that.) “I’m a trained observer” (at which point, my thought was, and I’m the monkey, but I didn’t tell her that either.) “My job is to give you objective insight of what you’re telling me. I’m an outside source looking in. I’m have no relations to your situation.” (do you see the window she’s peering through, with her hands up to it because of the glare?).
Things progress and we get to a point where I said something and the next thing I know, we’re talking about perception. That momentarily sent my head into a course of “God Shaped Hole” by Plumb.
*sings* Every point of view has another angle. And every angle has its merit *end singing*
Yes, perception. How we understand stuff. What we see stuff as. Perception.
My perception of diabetes is grave. I think that it has destroyed my life. I don’t live with it. I’m surviving with it. (barely, sometimes.) I’ve had this perception since a few months after I was diagnosed when my childhood was drastically changed by a doctor’s note that excused me from gym class because a short time on the field would put me in the nurses office for a couple of hours to treat low blood sugars. That’s where it all began, the perception that diabetes destroyed my life.
And what would cause me to change that perception when I was little…nothing…there was no reason to. Diabetes had taken away my right to go to gym class. That was 5th grade. Now we go to 7th grade, when because of my diabetes I couldn’t go on orchestra trips. And then 9th grade when I couldn’t even be in orchestra because I couldn’t go on orchestra trips. Because those trips were competitions and training for those competitions was what class was about. I’d get an automatic C- if I didn’t go to the competitions. I was a straight A student. I made the decision to not be in orchestra because a C wasn’t good enough. Another perception, but that one is fed by parents, schools, and universities, grades matter.
The summer before 8th grade I took my first vacation from diabetes. 3 months without checking my blood or taking shots. The reasoning there, the evil step mother that wanted to watch me do everything and make sure that I was doing it right. I’d had diabetes for 2 years at this point. This is where my rebellion against diabetes began. But why would I want to take care of my diabetes if I couldn’t do the things I wanted; was my reasoning, in many cases it’s still my reasoning today.
I can’t say whether or not anything was done to change my perception when I gained my ill fated vision of what diabetes was going to be in my life. I was a bullheaded pre-teen when I was diagnosed with diabetes. I was a bullheaded teen when my rebellion against diabetes began. And I’m a bullheaded upper 20 somethings year old now that still thinks diabetes is the devil; that nothing good is going to come from it.
I have a bad perception of diabetes and though I’ve been trying to change it since March 2007 it’s not an easy thing to do. I’ve been on this train of thought about diabetes for the better part of 16 years. And on more days than not, diabetes still frustrates me to the point where I’m still yelling about how much I HATE, VEHEMENTLY HATE IT!
That’s one perception that’s not going to go away. It’s not like broccoli. That veggie that I’ve hated since I was 6. I’ve grown to re-like it. Diabetes isn’t the broccoli in my life. There will be no like…hopefully though, while I’m still waiting for a cure, one day there will be a day where I don’t think that it’s destroyed my life…but again…perception…it’s not easy to change.
Peroneus Longus, Won’t thou please healith
It’s been 2 weeks since my first marathon, and I must say that all the aches and pains that caused me to say that I’d never ever ever do a marathon again have left me.
A week ago I was beginning to think that I’d like to do another marathon.
A week ago I was also sitting in the doctor’s office praying that my foot didn’t have a stress fracture. There was pain and swelling, but the pain only came when I walked and the swelling accompanied the walking. What can I say, I needed to walk, my poor muscles weren’t going to move if I didn’t. Luckily for me, there was no bruising and that ruled out stress fracture but it didn’t rule out the severely pulled peroneus longus tendon that goes from the top of my foot and kindof wraps itself around that boney ball on the side of my foot and then up the ankle.
A week ago, I was barely walking.
This week, I’m ready to go running again, or cycling at a minimum. There’s no more pain or swelling and that is a massive temptation for me to automatically break the 1 month of healing rule that was placed before me during that doctor’s visit.
This week I’m also sure I’d like to do another marathon.
I’ve got 3 more weeks to go before I can resume normal activity, and I’m itching to to resume normal activity.
Ultimate Sport Mechanic Repair Stand - 20th day of the Athlete’s Christmas Countdown
Ok, I’ve gone through all the small stuff I can think of that I want, and there is one big item, and so, after this big item, I’m done with my countdown I think simply because after this post, there’s only 4 more days of shopping left…Well, ok, I take it back, there’s a few larger items that I want…maybe I’ll write about them in hopes that you’ll remember when my birthday comes around in 5 months 
I’d like a repair stand for my bike, right now, as in the olden days, with Papa, I just turn my bike upside down for most things, but that’s not exactly the best treatment of my bike. And for the most part, my bike treats me well, as far as I know it’s never abused me, any abuse I’ve sustained at the hands of my bike was actually because of me myself and I, I’m sure of it…
So, REI has this Ultimate Sport Mechanic Repair Stand. There’s other’s out there, but this one looks nice and sturdy, but if you go to a bike shop and the mechanics tell you something different, listen to them, they know what they’re talking about…me, well, I’m not fully qualified in this department.
pst…X…that’s it…but maybe it’s more like porky the pig…”Th-th-th-thaaaat’s all, folks!”…or is it? I guess time will tell
StarbucksCard - 11th day of the Athlete’s Christmas Countdown
I have a slight addiction to Starbucks, ok I actually have a massive addiction to Starbucks, I love their Chai Lattes.
My most favorite bike rides are the ones my Outlaws call “coffee rides”. We ride and when we’re done we go get coffee. It’s most glorious. I usually get a chocolate milk and cheese danish at the end of my rides.
to the person that drew my name…starbucks, they’re everywhere, barely spaced miles apart from each other, and they’re practically open almost all the time…what more can i say…
Crank Sports e-Fuel - 9th day of the Athlete’s Christmas Countdown
I have gone through more drink supplements for during cycling to see what would help keep my blood sugars where they belong than I care to talk about. I have a favorite, and then I have an alternate that isn’t as good as my favorite. And yes, I am picky about what goes into my water bottles, both with flavor and brand. It matters to me, a lot.
My most favorite, for carb content and flavor is Crank Sports e-Fuel in the Mountain Rush flavor.
I use it for cycling, I use it for running (or walking, or shuffling, whatever you want to call it). It is, in my very own personal opinion (of course) the best what can be termed as “all the nasty sugarlicious” drink supplements, I say sugarlicious because it does have sugar in it and I do have a favorite non-sugarful one. But that’s for another day. (Make a mental note that the sugar in these things isn’t bad, it’s being burned off quicker than I can drink it in some cases.) Also, a good thing about it is that all the flavors they currently have are good. Yes, Mountain Rush is my favorite, but if I have no other choice, I will drink Tropical Blast and Citrus Slam because they’re not bad tasting.
Dearest family member, as far as i know there’s only one local store that sells this stuff, and they’re very nice in there, it’s Sportz Outdoors, well, now known as Sport Systems. Of course, as usual, you can always purchase it online
Novara Stainless-Steel Water Bottle Cage - 6th day of the Athlete’s Christmas Countdown
When it comes to cycling, I want the best. I want the best to the point that I have my eyes set on a very very expensive bike. However, I realize that the best equipment available won’t make me the best cyclist. I realize that being a great cyclist comes with time and training. Practice if you will, and practice makes perfect.
Because of this, I won’t even step near the light weight components that are available for bikes. One thing I’ve looked at often are the carbon fiber water bottle cages. They’re so slick and sexy and for the extremely good cyclist I guess getting rid of the the weight on the water bottle cage is important. To me, it’s not so important. Yet.
On this 6th day of Christmas, or the 21st days remaining Christmas shopping (yes, I had my countdown all wrong), we have my favorite water bottle cage the Novara Stainless-Steel Water Bottle Cage.
I currently have one of these on my bike and in the past I’ve have the standard run of the mill water bottle cages and honestly, there’s no difference, they all hold water bottles just the same. I will say that while I don’t need nor do I want the 17g water bottle cages, and that even though I do think all cages hold water bottles just the same, I do like things to match and that’s why I want another Novara Stainless-Steel Water Bottle Cage.
For the unknown family member that drew my name for Christmas, REI is my most favorite store. It’s about 15 miles from where we live. I could bike there in about an hour, if you drive, with traffic you could be there in about 20 minutes. I haven’t seen the socks I want in the store, but I know they have this particular water bottle cage.
Counting down the days till…
MY FIRST MARATHON!!! I know, it’s December and we have several things to count down towards, Christmas, New Years, etc…well there may be no etcetera but at this point, I think I’m more excited about my marathon than I am Christmas…It could very much have everything to do with the fact that my marathon is at Disney World…I mean, who wouldn’t be excited about running 26.2 miles if it were at Disney World…that just screams EXCITEMENT!!!
Well for me it does…
In 40 days I’ll be at Disney World running through the parks. Not the normal running around from ride to ride as one would expect when they hear “running through the parks” but actual running through the parks. I start at Epcot and end at Epcot and I get to run through Cinderella’s Castle and I get to run with a herd of people through Animal Kingdom. I’m SO VERY MUCH EXCITED!!!
I can’t explain my excitement…it’s a marathon, most people think I’m crazy for running it…well, maybe I can explain a bit of my excitement:
There is much excitement to be had considering there was a time a few months ago when I was told to take this marathon off my list of events. And I was told to do so by someone whom if I were smart I’d have listened to. Instead, I’ve got myself to a point where I can walk with a little bit of run scattered here and there and so far I can walk-run 17 miles and not be in pain when I finish. I’m feeling good about it and of course am very excited for January 11th to get here.
Did I mention it’s at Disney World?
What’s great about it is it’s my first marathon ever, so whatever time I finish it in will be a PR which really translates into me taking the time out to stop and take some pictures with whatever Disney Characters are out there on the course. I just have to make sure I’m at the finish before 7 hrs because I don’t want a DNF (did not finish) and for them to pull me off the course.
40 days and counting…I’m almost like a kid waiting for Santa to come down the chimney…
No time to write
I’m watching history be made.