I’m currently seeing a new endocrinologist from the one that I’ve had the last 10 years. With him I had to start at ground zero. I started with nothing. Everything I had before meant nothing, the blood sugar targets, the previous ratios for insulin amounts, all of it meant nothing. We started over.
Starting over was probably the best thing that could ever have happened to me. I’ve learned a lot.
There’s this understanding that diabetes is about progress not perfection and yet there’s this aspect of perfection that we build in and can’t ever reach. We work hard for something that can’t be, we get frustrated, and if you’re me… we give up.
Insulin is not perfect.
When I take my insulin is not perfect.
Math to figure out how much insulin I have on board is not perfect.
What I eat is not perfect.
How many carbs I eat is not perfect.
How many carbs I count is not perfect.
And it’s ok. Right now, I’m ok with that; and the idea is for me to be ok with that at all times. Perfectionism in an imperfect world will run you deep into the ground; I want to live.
It’s not perfect and it’s ok.