The God Will Save Me Mentality

I was talking with a friend last night, who made a comment that made me think deeper than I’ve ever thought on this subject before.

She said “would you please take care of yourself, I don’t want you to die”

My immediate thought was “I won’t die”.

This morning it made me realize that I take for granted the fact that God has saved me so many times.

It used to be that I’d yell at him for not putting me out of my misery because there were so many opportunities for Him to take me home because of my antics with diabetes. Now I have the default attitude that the next time I end up in ICU hanging onto life by a thread that I’ll come out alive. Because of that attitude, I don’t even care anymore about taking care of my diabetes at any level that would be appropriate to keep me healthy and alive…that half assing it is ok.

This morning I realized that the next time I end up in ICU because of stupidity where diabetes is concerned I may not come out alive. That toying with diabetes care is like playing russian roulette with my life; and that the next time I decide that diabetes isn’t worth having and therefore isn’t worth taking care of can be the bullet in the gun.

It was a deep thought. The mentality I had basically said “i’m invincible” and the reality is that I’m mortal and I have to behave like I’m mortal.

I’m not going to sit here and write now that because I had this ephiphany that I’m going to take emmaculate care of my diabetes…but at a minimum, it kindof put things into perspective.