One moment. One moment that I felt most alive this year. As I said a few days ago, this year has been meh. The aliveness has kind of been zombie like where I’m just going through motions. I so badly wanted to be able to have a moment that just “POPPED” with aliveness but in the…I guess, the physical realm…it just doesn’t exist.
And this is where I compartmentalize things, I try to keep everything separate, totally waffle like. I’ve got God in a square, adventure in a different square, work in another square, diabetes in a square…I try to keep it all very defined where those lines are. I try to keep them separated, I don’t want them to contaminate each other. But in a sense, this year has very much been about decompartmentalizing, especially where my relationship with God is concerned. The way I don’t share knowledge about me having diabetes, I don’t share God, I kept Him in his little waffle square filled with butter.
But it’s in the spiritual realm, my relationship with God, that there is so much aliveness. I think the best most alive moment I had was when I was at Discovery Camp this year. I was struggling with my stomach and had left a leader’s session to go vomit. I’m staring down into one of the most clean toilets I’ve ever seen for a public place and my Spiritman asks what I’m doing. I respond, I’m getting ready to throw up, what does it look like I’m doing. Spiritman says that I can do that later I need to get back into the session. I obeyed. I sit down, I’ve got my head between my legs and there’s a call for something, the details escape me. But I go forward and the unexpected happens.
I’m worshiping God, I’m praising Him. Someone lays hands on me and I fall out in the Spirit. I unexpectedly went down…like a rock I’m told, but I didn’t get hurt, and what God showed me, that was amazing, and it was the most alive moment of my year.
It’s as though I was holding hands with God and we were spinning. You know, how you spin a little kid and their feet are out behind them and everything is a blur because you’re going so fast.
Courtesy Of Nathan Jones
That’s the moment I had with God. And the cool thing is, the message that went with it. It’s in 2 parts:
1) When life is crumbling to the ground, and everything is crashing together, I have one very clear constant, and that is God
2) God wants to be so far in front of any other priority in my life that everything behind Him is a blur
It was cool too because I got to share this message with the youth of the church that I go to. You can hear all about it if you like.
There are other leaders that taught as well, and they had good stuff to share, but if you just want to hear about my experience, it starts at min 23
The reality is, I feel most alive when God is the center of my life. There’s meaning, there’s hope, there’s purpose. You take all that away and I’ve got nothing. As I think about it, it’s when I’m sharing the love of God to people and hanging with the youth, and especially the midschool girls that I feel most alive. I think the struggle in coming up with a moment was that I didn’t want to share this moment because I don’t like to put my relationship with God out there, but He’s not a pocket God, that’s not where he belongs. He’s the center of my life, and He makes me feel alive.