Dear Ryan’s Mom,
Recently you left a comment on DiabetesMine:
Negativity. Negativity. Negativity. I am truly wanting to find a place that gives us the truth but does not cover it in doom and gloom. I REFUSE to let my diabetic child grow up hating.
I was a child that grew up hating, but it wasn’t the reality of diabetes that caused me to hate. It was everything that everyone else said I couldn’t do because of the perceptions they had of diabetes. I have spent the last couple years trying to release that hatred. It’s been a hard process and the truth is, while there is an incredible decrease in my hatred, there is still hate.
While we can look at diabetes and see the positives (see some of my positives here), the reality is that sometimes, diabetes just straight up sucks. And that’s positively speaking. Diabetes isn’t always a field of flowers; often times it’s a thorn bush. Right now, it’s not going anywhere, it’s something that we’re living with, and it’s something that we have to take care of. What you’re perceiving as doom and gloom is our life, we don’t write about it and smear doom and gloom on it, but we’re also not sugar coating it either. It is what it is. It’s how we’re feeling about an experience that we’ve had with diabetes and not all experiences are positive.
The hope is that through our writings (and I’m generalizing here for everyone who blogs) someone else won’t have to experience some of the pains we experience. The hope is that through sharing our experiences, we can help someone else, even if it’s just a little. The hope is that if someone else is struggling with something that we’ve struggled with that we’ve thrown out something that made it better for us and perhaps it will make it better for them.
These are some of my hates, and I don’t think that there’s any hate here that isn’t standard across the board with people that have diabetes.
I in general hate diabetes.
I hate the roller coaster of the highs and lows.
I hate the constant finger pricks, shot giving, insulin pump site changes.
I hate having to eat because my blood sugar is low.
I hate when I’m high and I want a treat but really shouldn’t have one.
This isn’t hate that the negativity that comes across in our blog posts is going to breed…this hate that is a general side effect of having diabetes. It’s not necessarily hate we can stop.
The hate we can stop and prevent in people with diabetes is the hate towards people that misunderstand us and the hate that builds in us as people with diabetes when we’re told we can’t do things.
One of the things we do as bloggers is help educate people, but we also need a space to express ourselves and whine a little about how diabetes and the things we go through to take care of it make us feel.
I respect you not wanting your son to hate… I think the best way to do that is to make sure that the people around him are educated and that they understand diabetes and to encourage him to educate people and to get out there and do everything he wants and to make sure that diabetes is never used as an excuse to prevent him from reaching his goals and dreams. Had people done this for me as I was growing up with diabetes…I’d have had a whole lot less hate in my life.