Open Letter To Ryan’s Mom In Regards to Hating Diabetes

By Courtney | 4 Rookie Marks »

Dear Ryan’s Mom,

Recently you left a comment on DiabetesMine:

Negativity. Negativity. Negativity. I am truly wanting to find a place that gives us the truth but does not cover it in doom and gloom. I REFUSE to let my diabetic child grow up hating.

I was a child that grew up hating, but it wasn’t the reality of diabetes that caused me to hate. It was everything that everyone else said I couldn’t do because of the perceptions they had of diabetes. I have spent the last couple years trying to release that hatred. It’s been a hard process and the truth is, while there is an incredible decrease in my hatred, there is still hate.

While we can look at diabetes and see the positives (see some of my positives here), the reality is that sometimes, diabetes just straight up sucks. And that’s positively speaking. Diabetes isn’t always a field of flowers; often times it’s a thorn bush. Right now, it’s not going anywhere, it’s something that we’re living with, and it’s something that we have to take care of. What you’re perceiving as doom and gloom is our life, we don’t write about it and smear doom and gloom on it, but we’re also not sugar coating it either. It is what it is. It’s how we’re feeling about an experience that we’ve had with diabetes and not all experiences are positive.

The hope is that through our writings (and I’m generalizing here for everyone who blogs) someone else won’t have to experience some of the pains we experience. The hope is that through sharing our experiences, we can help someone else, even if it’s just a little. The hope is that if someone else is struggling with something that we’ve struggled with that we’ve thrown out something that made it better for us and perhaps it will make it better for them.

These are some of my hates, and I don’t think that there’s any hate here that isn’t standard across the board with people that have diabetes.

I in general hate diabetes.

I hate the roller coaster of the highs and lows.

I hate the constant finger pricks, shot giving, insulin pump site changes.

I hate having to eat because my blood sugar is low.

I hate when I’m high and I want a treat but really shouldn’t have one.

This isn’t hate that the negativity that comes across in our blog posts is going to breed…this hate that is a general side effect of having diabetes. It’s not necessarily hate we can stop.

The hate we can stop and prevent in people with diabetes is the hate towards people that misunderstand us and the hate that builds in us as people with diabetes when we’re told we can’t do things.

One of the things we do as bloggers is help educate people, but we also need a space to express ourselves and whine a little about how diabetes and the things we go through to take care of it make us feel.

I respect you not wanting your son to hate… I think the best way to do that is to make sure that the people around him are educated and that they understand diabetes and to encourage him to educate people and to get out there and do everything he wants and to make sure that diabetes is never used as an excuse to prevent him from reaching his goals and dreams. Had people done this for me as I was growing up with diabetes…I’d have had a whole lot less hate in my life.

4 Rookie Marks On Open Letter To Ryan’s Mom In Regards to Hating Diabetes

  1. Great letter, Courtney! I’m definitely going to link to it in my next post.

    ...said Colleen on March 12th, 2010
  2. I love this post, because I HATE diabetes. I hate what I have to do every day, and I hate the pain it has caused in my life, and I’m not talking about finger pricks. Diabetes sucks! Plain and simple, to keep it short.
    What I LOVE though is what my life has become because of diabetes. I’m healthier and happier today because of it. I agree, don’t ever use diabetes as an excuse for not being able to do something. If you don’t accomplish something, it’s because you didn’t want it enough, not b/c you were diabetic.
    If anything, diabetes fuels me and makes me, and helps me succeed. Diabetes is the best thing that ever happened to me.

    ...said Daniel on March 12th, 2010
  3. Thanks Colleen, that comment that was left on DiabetesMine really struck a chord in me.

    Also, as a side note, I’m happy to see that you can post comments now :)

    ...said Courtney on March 12th, 2010
  4. There’s lots of good, positive stuff on Diabetes Mine. It’s hard to look at it and just see gloom and doom. The post she was commenting on didn’t even say anything about the really negative possible consequences of diabetes.
    I’m not sure how you give the truth about diabetes without making it sound like it is inconvenient sometimes, which is what that post was about.
    God help us if Ryan’s mom comes a blog post about someone dying.

    ...said Jerry Nairn on March 12th, 2010

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