I’ll be doing things that I love…cycling…running (well, I don’t love it but I don’t hate it either)…hiking…outdoorsy activities that I love (or don’t hate)…things that typically, I enjoy doing…and then, while I’m doing them, I’ll have a thought…an evil little thought….
“I hate this”
It’s a horrible little thought…
“I hate this”
It’s not that I hate what I’m doing either…it’s that my blood sugar is so low that I’ve lost any ability to think clearly and I have that thought…
“I hate this”
And it takes a damn long time to recover from that thought…
“I hate this”
I’ll have that thought, for several minutes, 30 minutes, an hour before it dawns on me that I should check my blood…the lower the blood sugar the longer it takes for me to come around and think that I should check my blood…because when I have that thought…
“I hate this”
My brain is already long past thinking logically. It’s crowded by the low blood sugar demons who aim to beat me down mentally and physically in any way possible. And so I trudge through what I’m doing, all along, thinking that thought…
“I hate this”
And one would think that for as often as this happens, because it happens almost every time that I’m enjoying physical activity that I’d automatically think…no…I don’t hate this…I just need to check my blood…but no, there’s that thought…
“I hate this”
And once I’ve finally come around to thinking, something’s wrong, I’d better check my blood, I get pissed off that I went so long with that thought in my head…
“I hate this”
Because once you’ve put food in me, I’m a happy camper, I’m moving better, I’m moving faster, I’m no longer slogging through whatever it was that I was doing, the conversation picks back up, and things are so much cheerier. There no longer is that thought…
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