Knowing Numbers

I’m going to go see the movie Knowing tonight and the preview has made me think about numbers in general, well not really general. More specific than general, it’s made me think about my numbers, diabetes numbers. The numbers that I really pay no heed to, the ones that I refuse to write down because I don’t need them in a logbook because, hey, guess what, they’re in my machine and on my pump. The numbers that really tell me a lot if I would pay a little bit of attention to them as a group instead of a “hey, i’m low now” or “hey, I’m high”. If I would take a little more time to analyze the trends in them, I’d have more perfect numbers, something I’m not achieving right now which is throwing everything in the big scheme of things off.

In the Knowing trailer it’s said “systems that find meanings in numbers are a dime a dozen because people see what they want to see.” Anyone can look at this list and they’re going to see what they want to see.

03152009081551031520090934105031520091053830
31520091217108031520091331229031520091517223
03152009174514003152009193658031520092242760
31620090454840315200907538003152009090767031
52009120899031520091306620315200915131530315
20091839620315200920021900315200921331480317
20091213980317200902484103172009070826303172
00908062350317200910241770317200912406603172
00916028403172009170011503172009212580031720
09232768031820090739117031820098001530318200
91008178031820091153860318200915369103182009
18491520318200921272580319200912486803192009
07477503192009113853031920091457174031920091
74716503192009210511003192009232815703202009
12391410320200907211250320200910001270320200

Those numbers to me, they’re dates and times (the most obvious thing to pick up from that mess of numbers) and my blood glucose readings. This list of numbers here, they’re important, to me. I can find a system in them, well, that’s a fib, I know the system. They tell me that there have been far too many lows in the recent mornings when I wake up. They tell me that changing my breakfast foods have effectively subjugated the post-prandial highs that I was having.

Of course, not in the jumbled number format do they tell me much. And I’m really not much of a logger as I’ve said, I hate logging. I have many many untouched by ink logbooks just laying around.

I’m not the only one that hates logging. But, it doesn’t do me much help to know the here and now and not the patterns being produced. Not logging makes my diabetes difficult to tweak. And then I sit around complaining about how it’s not doing what I want it to. *rolls eyes* (story for another day I suppose)

BUT! Yes, there’s a but, and as my therapist has said, me saying “BUT” negates anything that preceded it.

In a way, I’ve started logging, kindof sortof. Electronically logging, in no way that a doctor could easily look at it and pick up trends, but I am logging, electronically writing my numbers down, even carb intake and insulin taken, I even make occasional notes about other things, like calibrating my sensor and going for walks. It’s going to be great when I start cycling again to be able to log those adventures. I’m twittering my diabetes. It’s out there for anyone to see. Does it mean much to anyone else if they’re not familiar with diabetes, probably not, but it’s one way that I’m better able to manage my diabetes. Because numbers are being “written” down somewhere, I can see the trends. It’s at the forefront of my mind. And it’s easy, because I’m always in front of a computer.

If you’re curious to see what a day in the life of a diabetic looks like, and you want to know what the numbers mean to us, you can follow me too. Follow me on twitter @ridetoremedy.