What do you mean you’re not going to lance it?
I think I shall blame my current predicament on the ER doctor from 2006 that lanced the original tail open. If he had done his job, like oh, removed it, and packed it instead of sealing it closed (as my doctor did 6 months ago) I wouldn’t be in so much pain that I can’t really sit, stand or lie down. Pick one, go ahead, they’re all just as miserable as the next.
I called my doctor first thing this morning. They got me in at 3pm. I’m lying belly down on the bed thing (my mind screaming from the pain) as the doctor looks at my golf ball that I’m growing, saying, yeah, that’s not good, but we can’t lance it because if we do the infection will spread and that will be worse, it’ll get into the blood stream and you’ll be fighting a staph infection for a long time to come.
They gave me a shot of something (I don’t remember but I know it wasn’t penicillin), wrote me a prescription for cephalexin, and I was still lying there stunned. They hadn’t lanced it yet, they had answered my questions, thought I was crazy for riding my bike 75 miles for fun, told me I couldn’t bike for at least a month after they fixed the problem that was created (this time) by cycling. But they hadn’t cut it open. I needed it cut open, I needed the pressure to be relieved. I needed the pain to go away. And thus I said something “You haven’t lanced it yet” and then they launched into the explanation about the infection and how they couldn’t lance it and how they’d fix it all on Wednesday.
I must’ve had a pitiful look on my face because the nurse was all “I know it hurts, but once the antibiotics get into and the infection begins to recede it will start feeling better”. I was hurt. I was physically hurting and at that point I was emotionally hurt that they weren’t going to relieve me of my current torment.
I guess I should explain what happened. A little history if you will. 2006, I’m growing a tail and waiting for my super hero powers (because we all know that when you mutate, you get super hero powers). No powers came and I couldn’t stand the pain so I went to the ER. The doctor didn’t even have to look at the bump, no he asked one question “do you have diabetes?” (as if me having diabetes had something to do with the tail I was growing) of course I answered yes and he told the nurse I’d need a shot of morphine and he’d need a scalpel. At that point, he diagnosed it as a pilonidal cyst. Of course, him cutting it open did nothing. So 2 days after being in the ER I went to my doctor who gave me a shot of penicillin put me on augmentin and sent me on my way.
1 year later, October 2007, I can feel my tail coming back. I do nothing because there’s no bump. January 2008, I’m fricken miserable. I’ve got an infected mess down there at the bottom of my tail bone. The doc gives me a shot of penicillin put me on augmentin, sliced it open to drain and schedules an appointment to remove it. At the end of Jan it (an infected sebaceous cyst) gets removed. I’m happy, I’m told it shouldn’t ever return. Sweetness!
Here we are 6 months later and it’s back (remember, it’s not supposed to be back). The doctor realizes what happens. When he cleaned up the original cyst and stitched it closed, he created a cavern beneath my skin. Imagine it like a cave and a rock rolled over it and sealed it shut. That’s what the stitches did. So this year, I start cycling and (of course!) I sweat. The sweat recedes into the cavern and then has no where to go. It gets infected. It’s so infected that the scar from the original wound is so spread thin, that you couldn’t tell there was a scar there to begin with.
The doctor tells me that when he goes and cleans it up this time, he’s going to fill it with cow collagen so that it will heal from the inside out. That will happen Thursday morning. Once he does that I’ve got 4-6 weeks to heal and then I’ll be back on my bike and a happy camper and it should never return ever again.
Until Thursday morning, I’m suffering. If it weren’t for the fear of a staph infection, I’d go put a needle in the thing myself and let it drain. It would hurt far far less than it does now.
4 Responses to “What do you mean you’re not going to lance it?”
Leave a Reply
June 10th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
That was ahh… um…. a little difficult to read. Queasy stomach and all. I hope you get some relief soon.
June 10th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Oh dude
I’m sorry you are hurting, but I hope what they do on Thursday will help you! I’ll be thinking of you.
June 10th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
I’ve one of them dang pilonidal things for 4 years and it sucks, I’m getting it taken care of this december. The pain I can deal with its just having to buy new underware all the time from draining. But I feel just what your going thru
June 12th, 2008 at 6:41 am
I am so glad I ate my cereal before reading that. You poor thing. I hope they take care of it for good today. I’ll be thinking about you.